Write funny erotica story involving tentacles and octopus

The book i have in my dirty mind is called
Crock Pot Cock-to-Puss
Where a octopus escapes out of a crock-pot, and is getting it on with a Hot babe

it's supposed to be funny, comedic, absurd
I need a very action packed beginning, eye catching, lots of outrageous dialogues
2500 words

I know this is a very hard plot to work around,
so anything funny will do,
maybe The octopus comes to terms with himself and takes some counseling lessons to come to terms with his pent-up steamed anxiety, you know, seeing a shrink, but somehow the clinical therapy didn't go so well and the Octopus get it on again with the shrink which also happens to be a hot babe XD