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Gratitude Check: I'll be happy WHEN...



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Gratitude Check: I'll be happy WHEN...

I have seen a number of people here in community discussion talking about success and frustration at not reaching certain goals.

I just wanted to share some personal things that I have been through that might help with perspective.

8 years ago I was sitting in a crack house, high as can be, surrounding by shady characters. At 1.68m tall I weighed about 50kgs. I had a broken nose and 2 black eyes, with bruises all over my body, compliments from the one I loved at the time.

I believed that the end was near. I couldn't get off drugs, I couldn't get my life straight. I couldn't get the man I loved to stop abusing me.

I felt like I was not enough. Not enough of anything.

Think of the lowest thing you think a person could do to get hold of drugs? Well I've probably done it.

I have been at death's door and I have been in hell.

On the 2nd August I will be 8 years clean. It has not been an easy journey for me in any way. I have had to work through horrible memories, through things that have been done to me and things that I have done to other people.

Then when I was 2 years clean I fell pregnant with my long distance boyfriend in a very new relationship (3 months) and I cried buckets. I felt like my world was only just starting to come right and now I am in trouble again.

I thought my new boyfriend would treat me like the rubbish I truly believed I was, cast me aside and leave me to fend for myself and a baby on my own. I felt like I couldn't even look after myself yet, how would I cope?

I called my best friend and before I could tell her my news she told me she had cancer of the colon and she was going into hospital NOW to have her colon removed.

That kinda puts things in perspective doesn't it?

My biggest problem was that the miracle of life was given to me, yes a little unexpectedly sure, but it was still a miracle wasn't it? And my closest friend has been told that they are going to try and remove her colon successfully and hope that the cancer has not spread. She was 34 at the time.

By the time my daughter was born I was married to the father, my best friend had her operation successfully, been told it had spread to lymph cancer and had months and months of gruelling chemotherapy and then given the all clear.

I am now today on the verge of being 8 years clean from drugs and alcohol. I am 9 months free from smoking cigarettes. I am a mom of 2 absolutely amazing children. I have a husband that loves me dearly and has never shouted at me once. He looks after me in all ways, well except doing the dishes and cleaning... we fight over that... but that's ok.

I have my own business. I work at home online in the mornings and then I fetch my kids at lunch time, we come home and eat, play and watch tv. My husband comes home every night straight after work because he wants to, he is a family man.

We are happy, we are financially independent and we have love.

Do you think this came easily? NO. I have worked my ass off every single day to achieve what I have now.

So don't look at other people and think they found success easily, or that they are "lucky".

One of the most important things I have learned over the years is to stop with the "I'll be happy when...." mentality. As soon as you have that, you set another goal and you will only be happy when you achieve that goal.

If you are unhappy today, sit down, write a gratitude list and realize what you DO have right now and remember to be grateful and happy.

Yes work towards your goals of course, but please be happy and grateful every day for what you have.

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idealmike

Lynne. Wow. That is amazing! You're amazing and so brave! What you have been through some people can only imagine or can't even imagine! I absolutely respect and admire you for sharing your story. And it's so good to hear how things have turned around for you. It's really refreshing to see your humility. Everyone has made mistakes. Nobody is perfect. We are only human. So here is something I was going to post the other day but never got round to doing so. I may as well just post it now as it lines up with what you've said. Gratitude Check: I

There's something I have got to say and get off my chest, out of my mind and down on paper.
Sometimes in life, it's easy to take what we have for granted. To get complacent.
But in life, you should never take anything for granted. Not even the air you breath.
You know what, we're more than fortunate people.
Do you have a home with a warm bed and a roof over your head?
Do you have a fridge/cupboard with lots of nice food in it?
Do you have a loving wife/husband and kids growing up or already left the nest?
Do you have a job, an income, stability and security?
If you do, please recognize how fortunate you are and give thanks for this.
If you do, you're one of the fortunate people on Earth.
If you do, give thanks for everything you have.
When you wake up in the morning. Give thanks for that.
When you go outside and inhale a huge fresh breath of air. Give thanks for that.
When you can hear the birds chirping away. Give thanks for that.
When you look up and see the blue sky and clouds rolling by. Give thanks for that.
When you boil the kettle and make yourself a coffee. Give thanks for that.
When you get a new client and sale, give thanks for that.
When you laugh, smile or just feel fine. Give thanks for that.
In fact, give thanks for everything you have in your life and even your life itself.
If you have 2 legs, 2 arms, 2 hands and all your fingers.
If you have 2 eyes, 2 ears and are healthy and fit.
Give thanks for that.
Whether it's giving thanks to God or just saying thanks to the universe.
Because we live in a very unjust and unfair world.
A world where Karma doesn't actually exist.
A world where one side has it good and the other has it worse than bad.
A world that isn't always butterflies and rainbows.
A world that offers glittering prizes to those with stout hearts and sharp swords.
A world that values you by how big your bank balance is, or how big your house is or by what car you drive.
A world that even though it has the power and resources to completely eradicate poverty, it doesn't.
A world where the rich will always continue to get richer and the poor will get poorer.
A class separated world where those with the most money have the most class and get the most respect.
A world that doesn't treat everyone as equal even though we all are.
I guess I'm having a big of a dig at the world. But it's not all bad.
Despite all these things, it's still worth living and giving thanks for.
Yes it's a crazy world we live in where some things can't be made any sense of.
We're living in very uncertain times where the whole world stands on a razers edge.
But there are still genuinely good things and genuinely good people in the world.
There are still things that make life worth living.
It's still possible to laugh and have fun.
It's still possible to feel good about the world.
It's still possible to have a sense of humor.
And it's always possible to give thanks!
And by doing so, you'll learn to be happy with what you have.
And not what the world says you should have or what you think you need, to be happy! Gratitude Check: I



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Lynne

Thanks Mike and that is exactly it. Very often we sit and mope about how bad we have it but really we do have it good. We are alive and should be enjoying every moment as if it is our last, because you never know, it could be!

Thank you.



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ballyhara

This is admirable. Thanks for sharing your story with us, sometimes we need that someone open our eyes, so we can be thankful for all the amazing things we have, that others can't even think about. I'm very happy for you, and I'm glad you finally have the life you deserve. God bless you and your family, and keep thanking God for all the blessings he has given you.



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EliteWriter

That is just great Lynne. Very inspirational indeed. As you said life comes with plenty of ups and downs, but we are the ones who need to establish the most important things in life. At the end of the day there is nothing more important than good health and wellbeing, and of course, love. Having a family that loves you is basically going to do the trick as once you feel loved you are going to feel fulfilled. As you said it is a complete waste of time to set a goal and be happy just when you achieve it as most likely you will then set yet another one. So the key is to be happy with what you have and cherish life.



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MusicMoguls

i agree you have to cherish life by any means it is just too short , i have a couple loved ones that i have lost and you know it makes you value life more and more , what i would give to have those people back , it is all about perspective people hit a rock bottom that is only rock bottom cause they allow it too be understand that it takes a positive mind too keep your self going and Lynne found faith in the hard to reach places and that is great i feel any one who is having a hard time should read this post.



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Lynne

Yes the I'll be happy when attitude is not going to ever make you happy. I know, I've been there and tried that. It just leaves me in a constant state of wanting and believing happiness is just around the corner.



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anwebservices

Such an interesting story. But i am very glad to read that you overcome all these bad things and hard time. I guess that most of us getting hard times and good times unexpectedly, even when you list think of it. I call it destiny, and it is. I was also going trough some very hard time in my life, few times, when here was a war in my country and i unexpectedly find my self as refugee about 20.000 miles away from my home... It would be too big and too sad story to talk about now, but, thanks God i overcome all bad times, i was good fighter and now i feel like a winner, which is really rewarding and happy feeling Gratitude Check: I



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Lynne

That is exactly it! I never knew that about you and that is not something that would normally come up in conversation. The point here is that so many people have faced really hard things, yet we look around at others and think they landed up with a silver spoon in their mouth.

When I see really successful people I always wonder what they went through to get to where they are. I don't assume it landed up in their lap.



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MusicMoguls

this is as inspirational a testimony you can get, and oh man do salute you for this , first off let me start by saying that i have the most genuine respect for you as a person, and i believe you are right sometimes people get to concerned about the little things you know and they make them selves feel as if things are way more bad then they actually are it is all about how you take the situation your are in at the moment, some thing that could feel like the end of the world to some can be some thing harmless to some one else cause they are going through more ,



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Lynne

Thank you and I hope you are writing your gratitude list Gratitude Check: I It changes everything, I promise you that.



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Niyantha

Darling, my eyes were moist reading this. I appreciate you sharing your story with us, it was truly inspiring. I myself have been under mental and physical abuse as a child by my own mother due to her anger issues, my brother was a sadistic person and there was nothing much my father could do about it. I wanted to give up on my life and even attempted suicide a few times but then it hit me- I should keep trying, I shall keep on living irrespective of the challenges. Why? Because when you think life is at its worst, always remember that it could get even worse than that, and be thankful that at least its not the end. Plus, there are millions out there having a worse situation. So I decided to live, see what the future has in store for me, be patient, trust my fate and be thankful for everything else that is going right. Many years later, now, I thank my past for all the lessons, I thank life for everything good and bad, because I did something my future self is definitely thankful for. I now make sure I do not get overwhelmed by the bad things and just pause and reflect upon all the things I should be grateful for and just stop complaining.



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DenisP

That was an emotional rollercoaster, Lynne. I'm so happy you had the bravery to share your story, because it truly is inspiring. I could not be happier for you, and wish you continued success and happiness for your entire life. While my struggle wasn't nearly as grueling as yours, I can relate in the sense that I too fought battles with drugs and alcohol for a long period of my life.

It is incredibly important to look at the positive things in life and keep track of what you are grateful for. It is actually a scientific fact that after a month of writing down at least three things you're grateful for every single day, the brain begins to rewire itself to look at more positive aspects of life. And obviously, looking at life with a positive view is always going to help things go much more smoothly.



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arachnophobik

This is probably one of the best things I've ever read on the entire internet after all the years I've been surfing it. Thank you for this as you've opened up a lot of eyes here. I feel so inspired by this story, and you're right. A lot of people only see the success of a person but they usually don't look into all the pain and hard work the person had to go through to be successful.



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augusta

I have always say life is beautiful despite all odds, If you count our blessings maybe list them on a piece of papar,we will be shocked at how blessed we have been.I don't envy anyone because I don't know their journey or story so I don't need to hit on their glory.It a free world and we need to be happy at all times.



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clara1993

Really thank you soo much for sharing this with us :-)
I think I'm one of grateful people because I came from very far and I was able to make it :-) there was a time when I hated to look myself in a mirror because I was scared of everything even myself, I hated to think about myself and then I got this habit to work on my goals and had visions..., My life is completely different since then and the only thing which kept me going is a positive mind that I had till now and lots of hard works I did soo far :-)
I'm very grateful I made it so far and Looking forward to be even better.



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VictoriaC

Thanks Lynne for sharing a part of your personal history here. You are a brave woman.
When I'm struggling with life problems I always try to remind myself to be grateful for all the opportunities and great people life gave to me. I once wrote a list of 100 things I was grateful for. At first, it seems to be difficult but once you start writing you'll see there are a lot of things to add.

xx

Victoria C.



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Lyudmilka7

There are many things in life I would love to have,but I am blessed and happy with the life I got.



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overcast

I used to chase that "I'll be happy when" part. Now I don't do that anymore. Because after doing that for enough time. I realized that I ended up being unhappy. And so this part I am trying harder to work on as well. I am happy at this current moment. It's happiness because I have roof over my head and the food in my plate. Everything else requires a lot of chasing stuff and doing things that I don't want. So on that part I'd say it's better to have some sort of gratitude check. It works out just fine if we realize this part.



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jeffreyjose48

I will be happy when I have a lot of money. I have money to spend for all our needs at home. I need so much of it right now. My partner in life is so angry with me that I don't have money. Even my two children are crying out for me to provide for their needs.

That's why I am here writing in this forum. I want to earn extra money online. I hope that my family will be happy when i earn. Its not easy. You really have your mind work. I'm thankful for this opportunity and privilege.



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